Tumblers Report

If last year’s meet at Pythingdean was one of sheer filmic genius (and occasionally comedic), then yesterday’s was pure coup de theatre. We laughed. We cried. We all went home. The Surrey Union had come out in force and, with their mustard collars, in not inconsiderable style too. Against this panoramic backdrop, the home crowd swelled with pride as Jeremy Instone MFH and his co-producer Davina B. De Mille had arranged firstly for the sun to shine all day and then for a huge and splendid set-piece complete with our own Busby Berkeley dancing girls. Yes, the gang’s all here: Clarissa Langdon, Theresa Bartellot, Clare Emery, Sarah Hare and many more swirling around the mounted field with trays of port, sausage rolls, ginger cake. A truly epic production. If Moses had stepped down from the mountain to trade in the ‘Ten Commandments’ for a slice of ginger cake, it would have felt absolutely right. Either that or Tiffany Tasney in a burlesque basque tip-tapping to ‘I’m the Lady in the Tutti-Frutti Hat’

There were around seventy mounted and as many on foot enjoying the proscenium splendour on display and, like every memorable opening night, we bumped into old friends and new, the latter mostly from Wintershall. Joining Sheila Lillywhite and her gang were the Surrey Union Hunt Supporters splendid in their emblem-ed blousons. The paparazzi buzzed around us like busy bees in a summer meadow: Louise Harber, our own Mario Testino, whose website is absolutely terrific. And Sarah Godley too, Hascombe’s answer to Annie Leibovitz. You can see her pictures on the Surrey Union website (please ignore the photo of me leaving the meet having clearly enjoyed the fruits of the stalls bar too much).

See how seamlessly we move from the still to the moving image…. Remember Days of Heaven and the rolling landscape of golden wheat fields swaying and crackling in the breath of a breeze? Or the rough and rugged downland of Far From the Madding Crowd? Now forget it. For our resident cinematographer was Tim Lee MFH. Yes, I know what you’re thinking. Bestriding the mighty Artemis, he wore like a Cyclops eye a helmet-mounted digicam. He addressed both the stalls and circle like a young Laurence Olivier in Henry V: ‘Once more unto the Toat Monument dear friends or fill up the hedges with our tumbled English’. [Oh please! Are we theatre or film? – Ed]. The last time we had the digicam out, Philly Fall-Off had it and the resulting footage was a seamless view of the ground and something shouted about ‘ Laurel’.

And at once, unlike Olivier, Master Lee called for hounds. We had some terrific runs as Tim had opened up a lot of country and the quads could fly everywhere. The first trail took us through Pickhurst casting left, tip-toeing past the brood mares, cunningly avoiding the newly laid gallops and onto Pallingham Bridge and the Wey-South path, round Balcombes Copse and the scene of our first tumble where Harriet misjudged the fallen tree (or rather her pony did). Unharmed she remounted and followed the field towards Tar Hanger, Sheepfield Hangar and the hedge and tiger trap combo that did for poor Lynne Evans – she jumped beautifully but looked down as Ricky pecked and off she came….Unhurt, luckily, and only a little mud-splattered. Next, we set ourselves at the rails that led us to the water meadows beneath Lowfold.

Then a check while the next trail was laid. Presently, we raced off towards Lowfold itself. A tiger trap at a cunning angle jumped well before the newly built, and very wide, tiger trap that hides a deep and watery ditch. It obligingly allows us to jump three abreast. We cast sharp left and into a right-handed tiger trap and onto the lower pastures at Lowfold before arriving at the very edges of Malthouse Copse. Here the field had a choice: a hedge and stream followed by a ditch or a simple tiger trap. Laurence Olivier MFH on Artemis flew the hedge that from now on is to be known as Agincourt, only to be followed by another MFH (Mr Instone) and his friend from the Crawley and Horsham, the polo enthusiast Park Bradley. Unfortunately both tumbled into the ditch They were unhurt but Park’s mount looked very sorry for himself – we heard later that x-rays showed nothing and that the prognosis was good. We wish Harry (the horse) a speedy recovery. Tim stayed to help both.

Without Messrs Lee and Instone the field were left to the witless leadership of Robin Muir and Paul Lyon-Maris, who know next to nothing about this country…As luck would have it, Nigel Dallyn on Alfie was out for the day. Their loud voices and Nigel’s piloting skills camouflaged a patchy moment [You mean Nigel did the work and you claimed the credit? – Ed]

At Shipbourne Farm we rallied the remaining field and flew due north back towards Lowfold. A tiger trap with a ditch in front of it and a rail at the top of a steep bank proved a little too much for the very brave Lucy Weller who heroically pulled herself together but decided to call it a day. The rest of the field followed the trail back over the meadows of Pallingham Manor Farm and onto the upland at Wey-South Path.

Hounds and riders alike decided that the day had been long and fast and that a short respite back at Cate Osmaston’s would be welcome. Whisky Macs were brought out by Cate, Becca Wyatt and George Grammer.

Clearly, no-one could actually remount any more, so Sage blew for home. Hounds went off to Lee Place House and the field led by Tim Lee MFH, who had now rejoined us, went back to the boxes. He promised only one more jump but somehow managed to find a series of rails, tiger traps and hedges. A fitting end to a vintage day.

Paul Lyon-Maris