Football | It's a Funny Old Game...
10/01/12
If anybody ever uses the words ‘twelve’ and ‘two’ in the same sentence again they are being sent home. It’s not clever and it’s not funny. What can I say? It was a game of two halves. That’s it really. We had some lovely oranges at half-time. Our strips looked nice. Quite a lot of CL&C supporters turned out. Here’s a few captured by Louise Harber. 
Look at them. They can barely contain their excitement. Frenzied they are. Lord Egremont’s spaniel didn’t eat a marker post this year. Here are the teams. The blue ones are the Wyndham and Nelson families, augmented by the Leconfield Estate XI. Lean, muscular, ready for action and, above all, young. Even Dave Whitby. Sadly the one the girls think is sweet and wore a fox outfit last time wasn’t playing nor the unfeasibly tall Chairman of Sothebys. The white ones comprise the CL&C XI. Lean, muscular ready for action and, above all, very old (apart from Steve and Tommy). And yes, I believe our team captain does have a cigarette in his hand. Clearly, this is an ironical reference to the flamboyant Brazilian teams of the 1970s. Think Socrates the legendary Corinthians captain, one of the greatest midfielders of all time who liked a fag at half-time. [There the resemblance ends - Ed] Note Dave Rees appears to be playing for Hibs while Messrs Hextall and Homan attempt to camouflage themselves in the opposition’s colours. Foggy and Jim Crowley are missing from the line-up as I gather someone locked the changing room door. Jamie Peel couldn’t make it in the end and Ed Roberts, well, we never did find out what happened to Ed. Best not to ask.
Genuinely, it wasn’t as one-sided as you might think. We had a brilliant time. And, believe it or not, we had the better of them in the first half. Honestly. Apart from goals, that is. (5 by the interval). And there was some spectacular action. Though none of it much troubled their goalkeeper down the other end. Which was just as well as Reid Summerhayes is recovering from diptheria or something. We must thank Lady Egremont whose idea this was many months ago now and to all those on the Estate who made the day happen. The family treated all of us, supporters and team alike, to a wonderful hog roast lunch, which made the defeat far easier to swallow. We probably have to thank Greg for something. Ah yes, for missing the easiest goal ever set up. And whichever very kind Wyndham daughter was overheard admonishing her team to “Please, please don’t score any more goals! You’ve got enough!”.
If I can summon up the energy you may be able to...
Genuinely, it wasn’t as one-sided as you might think. We had a brilliant time. And, believe it or not, we had the better of them in the first half. Honestly. Apart from goals, that is. (5 by the interval). And there was some spectacular action. Though none of it much troubled their goalkeeper down the other end. Which was just as well as Reid Summerhayes is recovering from diptheria or something. We must thank Lady Egremont whose idea this was many months ago now and to all those on the Estate who made the day happen. The family treated all of us, supporters and team alike, to a wonderful hog roast lunch, which made the defeat far easier to swallow. We probably have to thank Greg for something. Ah yes, for missing the easiest goal ever set up. And whichever very kind Wyndham daughter was overheard admonishing her team to “Please, please don’t score any more goals! You’ve got enough!”.
If I can summon up the energy you may be able to...
I can. A bit. Look at the photos first. Heroes they are those men in white. And remember this: it’s not the winning that matters, it’s the taking apart. Piece by piece. Until there’s nothing left but the raw and empty husks that once were the opposition. Well, we decided not to go down that route as we would quite like some country left to hunt in. So we were very accommodating. Especially in our goal mouth.
Sick as parrots.
Lady Egremont issued an invitation back in the summer : The Wyndham Family and Leconfield Estate XI vs The CL&C Hunt XI. The weekend chosen coincides with the family shoot on the Estate and what nicer way to entertain the household than a cheerful game of soccer on Sunday? It was a great success and tremendously good-natured, though taken very seriously. It is now set to become annual event played on the pitch in Petworth Park. This inaugural match on a bright, cold spring day was, you could say, a touch one-sided at 12 - 2 to the family (yes, 12 - 2) and as, one spectator put it, 'the most entertaining football match I have ever seen'. ‘Fall about, seal-honkingly funny!’ . Even before kick-off the omens were not promising for the CL&C XI. The Leconfield team appeared to be made up of members half their combined age, appeared to be more alert at 11.00am and appeared to have done this sort of thing before. On a regular basis. Quite possibly for Petworth Football Club. But the game's not played on paper, we said...[Sadly - Ed] Tim Lee managed to knock some kid off its pushbike during the pre-match kick-around. Like I said not a great start.
Yes, the family were lithe and tanned after their Christmas vacation abroad, while we were a little tired and pale after our yuletide 'Festival of Hunting' . However we won the fashion stakes convincingly in our smart white strips emblazoned with the three hunt badges. All 4 MFHs were required to play: Charles Homan, Tim Lee, Robin Muir and Paul Lyon-Maris. Only the first two were convincing.
We lost count of the individual scorers on their side but naturally ours were tremendous goals. The first by Steve Taylor was a scrappy affair but he fought off a considerable number of defenders and kept his nerve to poke it home. The second by Tommy Beadle was genuinely, scarily unbelievably brilliant. Having nothing left to lose, he booted it from the halfway line - literally the half way line - and it dropped smack in the back of the net. Needless to say the crowd went wild (see above), both sets of supporters conceding it was a tremendous achievement.
Despite the scoreline, it was a very good match genuinely keenly fought by both sides. The best team did win. On the basis that no football match can ever take place without some degree of controversy, there appeared to be no 'offside' rules and a rather dubious penalty awarded to the home side. At one point, Sheba a German Shepherd belonging to the Estate's Nick Taylor looked as if she might run off with the ball. Which, Hunt Supporter's Chairman Peter Sherratt ruefully admitted, might have helped.
We all enjoyed the halved oranges at the interval, thoughtfully provided by Lady Egremont. A lovely retro touch. Men of the match: Steve Taylor, Tommy Beadle, Graham Lawes and Chris Cherriman for the Hunt and the brilliant, mercurial and talented Toby Summerhayes and the Hon. George Wyndham for the Family. Greg Bull was an inspiration. If he can get up there and do it, then really anyone can...so too Head Keeper Dave Whitby who was a brief but formidable substitute. Dammit, they were all good!
Your huntsman, whose legs we need to protect, belied his age (it was his 47th birthday earlier that week) and he refused to be substituted. Rightly so, he had a great game. The only casualty was Tim Staines, who pulled a muscle in his groin but played on. Manfully. Foggy remembered which half he was in this time, which was useful too.
And I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: that Jim Crowley is reminiscent of Brechin City’s golden era cup-winning supremo: Sandy ‘Tha Wee Midgy-Midge’ Micheson. And you know what? I’ll say this again and for nothing: Two backbones, never demanding of publicity, The quiet men. The dependable men. Richard Hextall and Brian Goodchild. Gonna go far. Just like Forfar’s golden era cup-winning double-act. ‘See you’ Jimmy Brady and Hamish ‘Yon Mighty Flea’ McTaggart. Happy days. And you know what? I’m going to say it one more time. Graham Lawes: Glittering and deadly, like a Fabergé handgrenade. [You that last time - Ed]
Afterwards, the club bar was open and the post-match banter was lively. Lord & Lady Egremont then hosted a hog roast BBQ for the teams and crowd of around 120 supporters who turned up to cheer both sides on. That was a very nice gesture.
Both teams gave great, nail-biting sport and the re-match will be worth the wait. Gives us a year to train Hartley and Hector Crouch up. Yes. And youngsters Molly Staines, Georgia Ford and Scarlett Edge.
The girls, led by Kate, Emma and Lauren, appear to be keen to do something competitive [Yeah what? Non-stop talking? Pram racing? Little woolly hat knitting contest? - Ed] [Don’t go there - Deputy Ed]
At the end of the day, when all’s said and done it was a good day at the office.