Tumblers League Table


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Falls Tumbler Where & How
7 Saskia Rogerson Stillands: Let's face it. Children's Meet. 50 pesky little 'uns. It was always going to happen. It did.

Heyshott: Right, we're going to have to do these in batches of two now. So firstly, something about falling off while trying to grab sweets and secondly, something about bolting while trying to take swig from flask [It happens, ask Jo Burdett - Ed]

The Kennels: A new leader and a soap opera in weekly instalments. Pony bucked after 30 seconds en route to meet. 'Dropped like a stone' according to informant Nadine [You idiot! We can't afford another new identity and secret address for Mrs Crouch - Ed]

Coombelands: This seemed to happen behind the scenes, so reports are mixed and varied. Appears Shetland walked off leaving rider stranded. No doubt fuller details will emerge...

Fitzhall: Still lost in the mists of hazy recollection but something odd happened to youngest subscriber today. Minder Chloe still out of action so we'll blame the lack of a firm guiding hand...

Flexham: Pony enjoyed first fence of the day, our youngest rider not so much. Seems harsh and unpardonable to mention this mishap when tumbler was an absolute tour-de-force the rest of the day. But hard cheese, that's what we're all about here.

4 Sage Thompson Leggatt Hill: Unseemly slippage on that slippery road that often takes a couple of riders out. Nothing to feel sheepish or embarrassed about. At all.

Crouchlands: Defiant hunt horse refusal at rails lovingly hand-crafted during the summer months. Commendable lack of recrimination towards either.

Crouchlands: Fieldmastering. Not as easy as it looks. On the whole it's a question of 'balance'...

Pytchley Country: Hunting hounds. Not as easy as it looks. On the whole it's a question of 'getting on horse first'...

4= James Hextall

Barlavington: Yes, James. It IS "technically possible" to fall off on the way home and for it still to count. Hence the sentence: 'Yes, James. It IS "technically possible" to fall off on the way home and for it still to count'

Littleton Farm: Yes. Rather predictably. More funny little pony ways. It rolled. Well, they both rolled if one wanted to be truly accurate.

Lowfold: Ponies. Don't you love 'em? One minute they're trotting along merrily as you like. The next they're down on their knees rolling in grime. Yes. We love them at Tumblers. Can't get enough of their funny little ways, really.

Flexham: small jump required, not a somerasult over pony's head. Latest family member to take a fall. There's only Mum left now...This could get expensive. [Editor's note: Do UBS do re-mortgaging?]

3= Tinka Allingham The Kennels: Having been uncommonly quiet in recent weeks, bookie's junior favourite comes back with a bang. Two bangs actually. There will be more. There will be more.

Uppark: And there was more. Not entirely sure of the finer details but reports filtered through. And Tumblers never ignores an unsubstantiated rumour.

3= Jo Burdett Stag Park: High anxiety. Becoming something of an addiction this falling off thing. This time one of the Stag Park rails. Understandably, as the approach was tricky [and Master had run off with her vodka - Ed]

Malham Farm: Say it ain't so Jo. Oh it is. Brownie point scored for admitting it. Brownie point obliterated by claiming small dip in the ground a 'ditch'. Oh yes it was. Oh no it wasn't. OK then it was a huge ditch. Well, it IS Christmas after all [You're all heart - Ed]

Holland Wood: More ditch trouble. Horse refused. Rider didn't. Landed in the mud on her head. Probably for the best as there's really not much to damage up there. [Forget the ditch, pal. You are so going to be in trouble - Ed]

2= Nonie Uloth Stag Park: Strange experience getting onto horse, we think. Or off it. Not entirely au fait with the circumstances as the re-telling came out a bit Virginia Woolf stream-of-consciousness.

Toby Stone: Gothic horror: "Gathered in from beast by tendril-laden tree/whose woody fingers snagged a victim/Ha ha, hee hee." [Can we get Andrew Motion on the phone, please? - Ed]
2= William Carver Lowfold: Nothing funny about this one at all. Keep your spirits up, young Will, and we'll look forward to seeing you out again soon. [I take it you have forgiven him the snowball incident? - Ed]

Stag Park: Unexplained swampland in middle of otherwise perfectly kept field. No warning given by sheep (typical). Pony leapt, child left. By side door.
2= Sophie Walls Stillands: Something happened. Not sure what. William and Hartley being uncharacteristically mute. We'll get there. We always do.

Watermeadows: Sudden and quick at the rails. Fell headfirst, arms and legs akimbo. Like a starfish, really. A very nice starfish.

2= Jeremy Instone Lordings Outrageous flamboyance at Lordings hedges in front of home and away crowd. Much applause [and joyous ringing of Tumblers' cash register. Another Instone fiver!]

Fitzhall: Can do no better than quote darling daughter's Facebook posting: "The awkward moment when the field shout 'loose horse' and it's your father who has fallen...' We agree Panda. Shame on de family. Will take centuries to expunge.

2= Tim Lee Furze Wood: Horse traps its hind legs in tiger trap. Master Lee continues on regardless, creating in the process a fresh obstacle. Master Lyon-Maris heard apologising [ Really? That's a first - Ed] as he flew over all three.

Stag Park: MFH? Must Fall at Hedge. Grandstanding pearler of a fall by seasoned showman. A real crowd-pleaser this one. Zippo's Circus have shown interest in a free transfer/long-term loan. We're considering it.

2= Jill Stacey Sutton: Mrs Stacey rejoins us after a considerable period of games. And promptly falls off. She wouldn't have wanted it any other way...

Lordings: Unfortunate episode best left undermentioned. Hopefully Nurse Burdett's Toffee Vodka dulled the pain. It tends to take the edge of most things [Including the roof of your mouth - Ed]. Suffice to say Mrs Stacey is anxious to get back into the field [Yeah. For more weapons grade 'anaesthetic' - Ed]

2= Simon Cross Knepp Castle: Details just coming in. Still a bit hazy but fall at hedge not being entirely denied. Witnesses tight-lipped but we have ways. Oh, we have ways. Soon they'll be squealing like stuck pigs...

Stag Park: Woeful hedge action (2). Too much actually going for it. Not enough appraisal of it.

2= Richard Hextall Knepp Castle: Under the binding precepts of 'Addison's Law' (see Pytchley below), it counts away from home. And especially when a bog-standard tip up over a tiger trap results in horse treading on riders 'sensitive bits'. Eye-watering to say the least.

Stag Park: Misunderstanding as to what actually constitutes an obstacle. We think it's often best to jump the 'jump' (hence the name) rather than the post.
2= John Gough Holland Wood: Pre-ditch trouble. Bucked off cantering along ditch-line. Very cross. Thank you to two informants who had better go under false names. Let's call them 'Tiffany' and 'Julia' [Now everyone's going to be cross - Ed]

Malham: Slightly obfuscated by coterie of friends and admirers, but intelligence has it that it took four bucks and he was off. Flappy rein syndrome played a part. TERRIFIC horse so he won't have been the cause.
2= Evelyn Sadleir Coombelands: First loose horse of the day. Mind you, we been there before, haven't we Evelyn? Anyway, good for you for getting back on and lasting the day.

Holland Wood: Leap into the unknown. Really just one of those unpredictable pony things. It just leapt into the air from a standstill. Why? Who knows. Because it can...?

2= Emma Shaw Stag Park: Argument with a gatepost. Gatepost won. Moral: Don't pick a fight with a gatepost even if it's on your patch, you see it every day and, godammit, it's almost a friend. They just don't care, gateposts.

Holland Wood: Pecker not kept up. Youngster goes down on to its knees after totally do-able trench. Full marks to rider for admitting on the QT to fieldmaster. No marks for thinking he would keep it secret.

2= Mark Rees The Severals: Frankly, it shouldn't have happened. Large chap, small branch but...but...but it did. [Careful, you still owe him money - Ed] Obviously there was nothing this expert rider could do. One of those things.

Lordings: [Before you start, can we be quite lenient as I owe him a large shoe-ing bill? - Ed] This sounds unlikely but apparently hunt horse farrier came off at hedge! He is possibly the BEST RIDER in any given field so until we have further proof, we will have to make do with this sly innuendo and ridiculous rumour [Thanks - Ed]

2= Paul Lyon-Maris MFH The Severals: Scraped off like rancid butter from a knife. Terrible performance under pressure and under low branch which sensible followers dismounted for. I mean, it was never going to work.

Pallingham: Rails of the Unexpected: Ridiculous, completely puerile showing off over fence next to open gate. Look and learn young people, but do not imitate strange squealing noise, please.

1 John Langdon

Barlavington: Also leaving it late. Nasty crash and burn on the way back to the boxes. No use in playing the Sage-had-already-blown-for-home-card because we think he neglected to [Last day nerves? - Ed].

1 Stu Packham Stoughton: Well, the human cannonball left it late but out and over he popped. Nasty bit of wire successfully manoeuvred by ever-reliable horse but not by rider, who fell. [Ever reliable, though - Ed]

1 Mark Pennycook Stoughton: Inscrutable and uncomplaining newcomer wins admirers for remaining undaunted by kick and then dismount at considerable speed

1 Robin Muir Holland Wood: Entirely expected on first (and last) fieldmastering duty of the season. And entirely and truly pathetic.

1 Hannah Alsbury-Morris Lordings: Happy birthday, Hannah! Sorry about the unexpected surprise at a tiger trap...
1 Abigail Jupp Stillands: Moment of madness on Obie at Children's Meet. [Are you sure it was Obie? Seems to have passed around like a tray of canapés - see Tommy Camilleri - Ed]
1 George Evans Stillands: First they give you a £20 cash bonus for best turned out pony (and very well deserved too!) Then they claw it back bit by bit. Marvellous, marvellous stuff!
1 Tommy Camilleri Stillands: Second time out on Tumblers favourite Shetland, Obie. First time uneventful but second time Obie did not disappoint. [Note to Obie: Nice one, dude. Keep 'em coming. Brown envelope in the usual place - Ed]
1 Dougie Lowe River Common: A tremendous din. The sky went dark. The noise. The people rushing. Horses loose. Not a re-enactment of the second battle of Ypres, just Dougie falling off...
1 Tiffany Tasney OSBWK country: Addison's Law applies. Nasty, horrid slip on road. Down like a stone for CL&C Grande Dame. Nastier and horrider when 17 2h Sinbad stood on her. Commendable sang-froid and dignity under pressure.
1 Deborah Boulton OSBWK country: Addison's Law applies again. In with a bang. Horse and rider stuck briefly in ditch. Rider deposited on bank and Michelin (Wo)Man jacket detonates. Never a good look. [But a safe one - Ed]
1 Antonia Camilleri Stag Park: Soignee and chic, the very epitome of elegance on a horse. Like a Gainsborough come to life. Then an undignified roll on the ground. Call Salvador Dali...
1 Darryl Leggatt Stag Park: With this eye-brow raising roll, the Leggatts now threaten the Uloths as first family of stumble. They won't take it lying down [Actually, they probably will - Ed]. Cue internecine gangland warfare. Like West Side Story but with horses [and set in Iping? - Ed]

1 Harry Dzenis Stag Park: More hedge fun action. Superbly taken dive from this Olympic hopeful. Utterly charming, elegant, adorable and talented this magnificent horseman is... [Yes, we get it. You owe him. He taught you to ride aged 7 - Ed]

1 Mark Teear Lordings: Foggy recollection. If we were kind to our amateur whip, we could pretend it was over the most testing hedge in our 'Little Leicestershire'. But sad to say life and Tumblers are not like that. Bog standard Fog fall. Horse looked one way and back. Foggy looked the same way and back. But just not in a co-ordinated fashion...

1 Liz Mackintosh Holland Wood: Accounted for by tricky ditch that seemed to account for a few today. Lulled into admission after tongue-loosening glass of mulled wine at the Stag. Heh. Heh. Heh.

1 Charlotte Garner Holland Wood: That pesky ditch again. Interestingly first time in two decades of hunting that rider has ever fallen off. And by no means, we feel, the last...

1 Hartley Crouch Lordings: Yes alright, it was the biggest hedge and you are our new amateur whip. But remember the whip can be withdrawn as quickly as it is given. Reminding the huntsman he has fallen three times to your once is not the best route to securing it.

1 Rufus Uloth Pitsham Farm: Uh-oh, Uloth. As if a family member would disappoint us today...Backwards jumpy sort of thing at bridge. Was never going to end happily but ended more happily than it looked at first. Very brave - if slightly damp - young man [that'll teach him for pinching Master's hat and gloves earlier. Heh-heh-heh!]

1 Richard Stubbs Minsted: Will we show compassion to a much-liked newcomer? No we won't. My spy on the ground says 'It happened at the tricky double ditch on the way home. He was dislodged and eventually the rhododendrons pulled him from Henry's neck, which he had been cuddling' [Thanks, Charles - Ed]
1 Panda Instone Lordings: Can do no better than quote father's Facebook posting (if he knew what F/B was): "The awkward moment when the field shout 'loose horse' and it's your daughter who has fallen...' Christmas. It's all about family. Family shame. Well done Freddie for not making it a trio. Lord knows you tried...
1 Peter and Nicky Button Coombelands: As we were saying, yes, Christmas. It's all about family. Eye-watering double by father and daughter (the former in a pile on top of the latter) has happy seasonal ending with no-one hurt. Somehow. Raise a glass of good cheer to two very quick-witted horses and to two insouciant riders who just brushed themselves down and got on with it...
1 Clare Evans Crouchlands: Sort of Benny Hill moment. Local grandee has comedy pratfall. Horse went one way, rider the other. Everyone's favourite horse, though and favourite meet host [you mean she hasn't confirmed yet? - Ed]

1 George Fitzalan-Howard Crouchlands: What could go wrong did go wrong for trainee amateur whip. Lesson one: wire best avoided. Lesson two: yes, jumps can occasionally disintegrate on impact. Mind you, what a horse...
1 Kitty Godman-Dorrington Crouchlands: It was all going so well. Tiger trap successfully taken then some awkwardness with stirrups, we think. Pity. It's getting expensive for the G-Ds. Fleeing to Dorset will not work. Tumblers has spies everywhere...
1 Sasha Kent Crouchlands: Great Mysteries of Today...No-one entirely clear about what happened. Probably time to call Erich von Daniken: "Aliens pinched my riding skills?" We will never know. Spooky. Great, great horse though.

1 Chloe Finch Crouchlands: Really not at all funny slip in muddy wood, so this is the sound of no-one laughing. *pause* Mend soonest. Slim consolation that Saskia had a terrific rest of the day.

1 Mrs Jane Hare Holland Wood: Senior Moment: A most displeasing display by Finn at a hedge. No, not over it, unusually, but beside it. He spooked. Unexpected from such seasoned, high-calibre veterans.

1 Ian Tasney Lordings: Tales of the As-Yet-Unexplained: He's back after a season's absence and does not disappoint. Quizzical looks and raising of collective eyebrow accompany inflation of Michelin Man jacket in a tight gateway.

1 Rachael Morley Pytchley Country: Go, CL&C, Go! Wide hedge. Disaster looms. Hunt groom has mystery tack malfunction. Pony Club lesson number one - tighten your girth. End of lesson. (Nearly end of groom).

1 Lucy Addison Pytchley Country: Go, CL&C, Go! (reprise) Same wide hedge. Would have counted as successful had we been in Ireland today. We weren't. Full marks, however, to brave tumbler and Nicholas Moss for even WANTING to take it on.

1 Ivan Leggatt Flexham: Nasty scrape at first fence of the day. Full marks for shrugging it off as pony disappeared far into distance. We're being extra nice as tumbler was today's birthday boy (11 years old, since you ask). It won't last.
1 Sophie Bognar Benbow: Utterly textbook take off over difficult rail. Flimsy, cheap paperback style landing. However such cheerful demeanour forgives anything. Except Tumblers is not cheerful and is not forgiving.
1 Coco Allingham Benbow: Deeply frustrating sort of skid towards gate and rider bale out. Points gained for admitting it. Points deducted for length of time taken for admission to arrive.
1 Sasha Godman-Dorrington Benbow: Newest, youngest scion of hunting dynasty suffers pony roll indignity. Some points deducted for it having to be Charles who told us. Points re-instated for being so delightful about it and not glaring at Charles.

1 Rupert Uloth Stag Park: Oh dear me. Wofeul Hedge action (1). Too much appraisal of it. Not enough actually going for it.

1 Amy Rule Watermeadows: A warm CL&C welcome to C+H visitor on terrific grey. Nasty slip on muddy bank almost blotted out by Charles Granlund's instinctive gallantry.

1 Tod Apps Stag Park: Woeful hedge action (3) [Is there much more of this? - Ed.] Too much self-aggrandizing flamboyance. Not enough spatial awareness.

1 Octavia Pollock Stag Park: Woeful hedge action (4) Beautiful take-off on FIRST-RATE horse [I smell a rat. Was it yours? - Ed]. Unfortunate crash-and-burn. Clearly not horse's fault...

1 Hugh Graham-Watson Pheasant Copse: Nasty child-high spiky tree. But, Hughie, it's why God gave us TWO eyes. You don't actually need both all the time. Luckily.
1 Coco Clevely Pheasant Copse: Veuve Cliq-uh-oh! And just when we tucked in behind the best jumper in the business. Most unexpected. Unfathomable, really, but steering possibly locked onto wall.

1 William Hextall Pheasant Copse: Not completely sure what happened here (conflicting report from entirely unreliable brother) but honesty is always the best policy. So thank you. Now go get your piggy-bank.